oh Yeah! I went to Las Vegas didn't I?

I guess I forgot!

So merry Christmas by the way!

Last weekend I went to Las Vegas for two nights! I stayed at the new Wynn Hotel on the 16th floor. AMAZING! --My bathroom was bigger than my bedroom at the train station! with a plasma TV. The bedroom was bigger than our living room and kitchen and had a bigger plasma TV! Ooh oh! And Warhol prints for the room art, not stupid prints of sailboats but actually a good taste in art.

I was there babysitting my two nieces and my nephew, while their parents had their company party. Ok so the last time I did this I only had my two nieces because my nephew hadn't been born yet. Well I forgot he was born 9 months ago. So the day that I was going to drive down there with my dad, step-mom and my step aunt and uncle, Dianne, my step-mom says to me "So you remember that Gene and Kristine have a little boy now!?" my eyes grew wide, "uh yeah!" so now I was in charge of 2 kids and a baby! I babysat Friday night and Saturday, boy was that tiring, 17 hours total. But I couldn't have asked for a better baby. He was really a good kid. That didn't mean it was easy. It made me think... And I think I can empathize with Faye who baby-sits everyday! All in all it was good!

Yes Mr. Darcy, I will take your hand...

*Sigh* I really shouldn't watch those romantic films, even if they are classic... Ahh Mr. Darcy! So dashing, so handsome! (He has an accent too!) I always walk out of the movie theatre feeling as though I were a part of that story. (It took me about ten minutes to stop thinking with a British accent) I stepped into Elizabeth’s shoes, and I can't seem to get out of them. *Sigh*

I am in Oklahoma right now for those of you that didn't know. I am with my family. It’s pretty chill here. I was getting ready to go to the movie as my step-dad was watching the local news in the other room. I overheard them repot that a lady's purse was stolen! Wow. You don’t see that everyday! I’ll remember to lock my door next time I drive downtown. Jenna said that they came to the college she works at to report on the fire alarm that went off due to a mishap in the biology lab! Boy they really get on the scene!

Ahh, this week has been good. I learned some good stuff at church on Tuesday, going to eat some turkey tomorrow, had a Sonic burger, Killed my brother at Super Smash bros., was "nuzzled" by my "Oklahoma Best Friend," went to the movies twice and saw OKC in one of the movies, was hugged back by my un-huggable sister –Johanna (her boyfriend has changed her for the better! ahh Michael you are a good man!), and will finally meet him face to face on Friday! Oh and by the way here is a picture of when I first met him.

yay! I finally got some pics from Halloween!

Why do I always end up wearing awkward costumes!

"We're going camping now we're on our way! We're going to climb the mountain and run and jump and play, and as we hike a long were going to sing our praises to the King!"

Humm... I need to start thinking about what I am going to wear next year... my partner in crime will be back from her year's adventure... maybe we could be toothpicks! Oh or forks, everyone needs a fork! Well we have about a year 'til the next crusade Halloween party! We’ll see.

LA, Orange, and San Bernardino County

My Friend Libby from Ohio State came to Anaheim this past week! She is the only one I have gotten to see from project! It was soo cool seeing her. on Saturday I took her to her first ever In-and-out experience! She thought it was awesome, then I showed her Cal State and the "Train Station." She met Faye and Doug and we decided to go to Hollywood so that she could say that she went there!

"Neiner Neiner Neiner, we went to Hollywood and you didn't!"


She enjoyed it despite the creepy street performers

"sigh... Not the real Johnny Depp"

anyway... it was still fun! We had to drive back to Anaheim in time for me to get back to meet everyone at the train station at four, so we could drive to redlands to see the Lifehouse production of "Esther!!!" I guess you can say that I didn't anticipate the traffic to well, coming back from Hollywood :( I ended up being 40 minutes late!!! so that meant after about an hour and a half of driving, I didn't have time to get out and stretch. Michelle, Andrew, and Stephen piled in the car and we drove off to Redlands.
Just as we got driving down the freeway, my "o/d off" light was flashing, which never happens regardless if I am in overdrive or not. so as I was planning to pull off the road to restart my car to see if it was ok, I got a call from Rae saying that they had to jump AJ's car battery... uh oh. After I restarted my car, and found it to be fine, I got another call saying that AJ's car was on the road already. That's good, we're still making time!
we went driving down the 60 and took the 215. As soon as we got on the 215, I got another call from AJ.
-Hey Jessica, where are you exactly
-I just got on the 215.
-k good, cuz my car just died.
we had to go back onto the 215 and try to jump AJ's car again. ... As Stephen would say "no dice." to make this part of the story short (because I am sure that AJ will post this part) we basically ended up having to get a tow truck and AJ's dad picked up the people in AJ's car. While I drove off with Michelle and Stephen, and picked up Allison who was at a Chinese place in Redlands waiting for us. We all finally got to the theatre bye 7:10 five minutes before it started! Which also meant that I had been sitting in a car for four hours!!! Ak!
The play was amazing! It was so funny! and AJ's brother, Mark was a hilarious guard. During the intermission he and his other comrades went around harassing audience members. Including Andrew who was forced out of his seat as the show was starting! :P

(I know you who visit "The Train Station" blog have seen this already... deal with it :P)

Afterwards we hung out at AJ's house for an awesome dinner :) yummm..., Mark showed me some sweet tap moves, and we played an awkward game of "telephone." I don't know, something about "Spandex" in a telephone phrase just isn't right.

Even though he was a sexist, Freud's theory still makes me think

I just feel like writing now. I don't know what to write. I learned about the phallic stage of the Freudian theory today. Don't worry I won't go into detail. But something interesting that my professor asked was if we found that women tend to put guys at a higher level. He used an example of a girl who has a bunch of girlfriends, and then as soon as she gets a boyfriend she dumps her friends. Now I Know this is a little far fetched for an example, but it does happen. Here is another example: what about when two girls like the same boy, isn't there sometimes a feeling of rivalry, even minor... I guess this happens with guys liking girls too... hummm... (I am sort of processing through this right now). What about this, doesn’t it seem like girls are meaner to girls than they are to guys. I guess I have been thinking about this, because I find myself getting in arguments with girls easier than I do with guys. I know that that there are some girls that I want to be vulnerable with, but I feel like I can't, but it is easier for me to go and spill my guts out to a guy. ...arg! I'm also thinking about this because me and my friend just snapped at each other... grr I hate that we do that, we get so defensive. Blegh! I just need to see the best in people before I get all defensive and judgmental. I'm still training in that area.

I never had Pink Eye as a kid, and now it's the second time this year that I have had it.

I went to my Dad house this weekend... we talked aout money. That's always fun. I wonder if there is any college student out there that doesn't have trouble with asking their parents for money. Your blessed if you are. be grateful.
today was a cool day. AJ Doug Stephen and Andrew all dressed up like T-shirt ninjas and battled it out in the quad. Most student, as is typical of CSUF students, just ignored. Man! We need some community in our campus, Andrew blames it on the fraternities. He said that they focus to much on their parties, implying that they should do some crazy random stuff on campus. I know that back in the east, college students would be willing to do more stuff like that. Colleges like Penn state and Ohio State, actually have community. From what I have herd the art department at Penn State has a great sense of community. The art students practically live together. They stay up all night working on their projects in the art department, whereas we here at Fullerton stay up all night in our apartments. Ohio State (OSU) has the biggest school pride I have ever seen. I was shocked to find a friend on project who always wore one article of school apparel. Whereas I haven't one article of CSUF apparel. They also describe their school like a big fraternity, in that when ever they meet someone that either currently goes to OSU or went to (no matter how long ago) they connect with each other right away, as if they knew each other for years. Here I only have a slight connection if I find someone who is currently going to my school and is in my major. Just an interesting thought on our school's apathy. Maybe we should keep doing this random stuff. I know Sharon and I, have been wanting to do some crazy stuff. eh...
okay well off to bed! (2:11am) Night All!

Dirt

Written Fall 2002

In the Ninth grade my family and I moved from a nice sophisticated city to a filthy town that I would have described as one street, old and dirt. How could I deal with living in such a place?

I grew up in Redlands, California. It’s an old classy city with a lot of historical sites. The street that I lived on was Casas De Leon, a friendly cul-de-sac; I moved there when I was about five years old. There were a lot of kids about my age that I could play with. We would ride bikes and play hide and go seek. During my elementary and junior high years I had two really good friends, Kaylynn, my best friend, and Allison. We had a lot of fun together. I remember the three of us got together and we decided to make a fort out of an orange tree in the backfield behind our houses. Using the donations of wood from our friendly neighbors, we made an awesome fort. It had a bridge going across the ditch by the tree, stairs, and old sheets as walls. It was a nice fort, until a mean lady that owned property near our wonderful fort, tore it down! But that was alright because we could do other things, like making up a new game or playing old ones, hide and go seek being my personal favorite, or another thing that we could do was ride our bikes to the grocery store down the street and buy candy.

I loved my neighborhood. It was one of those neighborhoods that you would see on family television, it was the kind neighborhood where if a lady saw that one of her neighbors were outside, she would go out of her way to go outside and greet them. That’s how nice everyone was. I loved it when all of the neighbors got together at that yearly block party that would occur just before school started. At the block party neighbors would catch up on events that they might have missed, over a nice glass of lemonade and a brownie on the side, while kids with ice-cream covered faces would run around in their wet bathing suits. But before all that would happen, there would be the much-anticipated talent show. I remember one year Kaylynn and I did an act together to the song “Pretty Woman.” She, being dressed up like a boy with a mascara-made beard and moustache, lip-synced to the song. While I, dressed up as Julia Roberts, with the big red hair and gobs of make-up, strutted around her throughout the whole song. I would pretend to not notice her character, until the end when I chased her throughout the whole audience. We got a lot of laughs that afternoon.

Well, the summer before my ninth grade year, my mom’s health wasn’t doing to well. You see, my mom has had a bad asthma condition, and that summer it happened to get worse. Sometimes my mom wouldn’t be able to breathe that well and would start to wheeze; it was awful. My mom said that it was because of the smog and that the only way to help it was to move up to a higher elevation. I couldn’t believe it. Move, from my home, but where? My mom and my step-dad, Elery, were thinking about a city right next to Redlands, Yucaipa, which is in the low mountains.

Now Yucaipa isn’t a nice old town with a lot of historical sites. It’s a “Hicksville” town that runs on, basically, one street, Yucaipa Boulevard. Along the boulevard one will find old run down buildings, which look like they could fall over if somebody sneezed wrong. One could imagine a bunch of hicks dressed in dusty overalls walking around barefoot in their dirty town. Yucaipa was dirt; at least that’s how I saw it. When I was a kid, I hated going to Yucaipa. I remember when I was about 12 years old we would have to go there to pick up my sister from Girl Scouts. I would go with Elery, as he would drive up the boulevard, to this big Baptist Church. While he was driving, I would look out the window and wonder why the entire town looked like it was built on one street. Then I would look at the old run down, paint chipped motels, advertising their pride and joy of color T.V. I would also look at the small “Hicksville” stores, which I imagined sold old auto parts for a dollar. Then I would look at the fields of just sticks and dirt, and say, “Yucaipa is so boring!!!” I couldn’t see how anyone could have fun living there.

Well, in ninth grade I enrolled into Mesa Grande Academy, a school near the place where we were going to move. It was a small school, and it wasn’t anything that I wasn’t used to. However, there were a few things that I wasn’t used to, like the school having a lot of flies, yes flies. I remember thinking it was disgusting to go into the bathroom and have them flying around in circles above my head. If that wasn’t enough to gross me out, in the morning I would be greeted by this awful smell. To me it smelled like bird poop and kitchen cleaner. When I asked what that horrible smell was, I was told that there were chicken farms practically surrounding the school. Yuck! I couldn’t believe that we were going to leave Redlands to be stuck with this!

We finally moved to Yucaipa in November near Thanksgiving. It was a nice house, we had a beautiful view of the mountains, and we could see the stars at night, but that didn’t mean it was my home. I remember once I woke up thinking that the light outside was the light in the hallway of my old house, so I would feel like I was in my old room again, but I would be upset to realize that I was in my new house, not my home. I missed my home, my room, the color of my pink walls and the big window seat that would let light in during a sunny day. I wanted to move back.

I guess that I am not telling you the bright side. I did get used to my smelly school and I made a friend or two down the street. But towards the end of the year I felt a little depressed. I wanted to go to Arrowhead Christian Academy, the school that I was supposed to go to in Redlands, which was cleaner and smelled nicer than Mesa Grande. I also felt that I didn’t have real friends; I mean sure I had a few friends that I hung out with at school, but private schools are so small that if “you aren’t ‘in’ then you are ‘out,’” there isn’t an in-between. So that meant that I would only have one or two friends that I would only hang out with at school. One of my friends, Michelle, lived in Palm Springs, which was about forty-five minutes away, so we would never hang out after school. My old neighbors lived twenty minutes away so in order to see them I would have to get a ride from either my mom or my friend’s mom if either one was available. The kids down the street where sort of immature for me, so I wouldn’t really bother hanging out with them. All in all, I felt alone.

I talked to my oldest sister, Julie, about it and she suggested that I should try out the public school, Yucaipa High School. She told me that when she went to public school she noticed that the people there were a lot nicer than in private school. She told me stories about going to football games, dances, and meeting new friends. I thought that sounded fun, I was sick of being around snobs, and what a better way to be freed from them? So I talked to my mom about it and she was kind of hesitant about it, because of the stereotype of public school being a bad place were the students have spiked hair, a nose ring and a cigarette between two of their fingers. Julie and I convinced her that it wasn’t like that and she finally agreed.

After I started going to Yucaipa High School, my feelings about Yucaipa changed. When I went to Yucaipa High, everyone there seemed so nice an inviting. I got to know a lot of people, and it turned out that some of the people that I met there lived really close to me, that they were practically my neighbors. I joined the swim team with one of my neighbors and that got me really involved with the school. My senior year I stayed on the swim team and became really close friends with a teammate, Melissa. She was in a band, The Let Downs, with my boyfriend (and best friend) Mark. Melissa gave me the ‘high honor’ of being the band’s Groupie.

I joined this huge youth group at First Baptist Church of Yucaipa; that same big Baptist Church that I had dreaded driving to. I really liked the youth group and I really got to know my youth pastor, Ron. He made a big impact on my life; in the way he showed Jesus’ love. I got really involved with the youth group by doing activities, and going on trips with them. Through those trips I got to know my friends, and my boyfriend a lot better. I was also able to build new friendships. I had fun with my friends and I realized that I have plenty of friends that I would have never met, if I had stayed in Redlands. The cool thing was that they would let me be who I wanted to be, and they liked me for who I was. I didn’t have to try to fit in.

I got to know more people in that old town. Suddenly that old dirt town didn’t seem too much like dirt. I started to love that town, everything about it started to make me laugh, from the old couples holding hands, to the hicks down the street, to the homemade speed limit signs, and to the woman fixing her car in a big white shirt and a green bathing suit. I even started to appreciate the old run down, paint chipped motels, my favorite being the Yu-Cal Motel, which is a pride and joy in the town, because it has HBO. I noticed that the small “Hicksville” stores weren’t as despicable as I had imagined, and the fields of sticks and dirt had a sort-of beauty to them.

Whenever I go back to Redlands and pass by my old neighborhood I see how much has gone down hill. Whenever I see my best friend of my younger years, I notice that she has changed dramatically. I realize that we went our separate ways. I was sad to hear that families were spilt up, and that some moved away. I also heard that the yearly block party was said to not be the same anymore. Everything seemed to have changed. It seems to me that I “got out of there” just in time. How could I ever consider moving back?

My attitude changed when, I finally realized that Yucaipa was my home; all that I had to do was to see that it was a fun “Hicksville” town, not a boring one. I learned to appreciate what I was stuck with. I also learned that even though Yucaipa is just “dirt,” there is something in “dirt” that made me love it.

Man! I don't know what to post!

What do you guys want to know?

Refiner's Fire

Refiner's fire, my heart's one desire,
Is to be-- holy, set apart for You, Lord.
I choose to be-- holy,
Set apart for You, my Master,
Ready to do Your will.

This is a segment of the song "Refiner's Fire" by Brian Doerksen. This is a song we always sang in church growing up. I love this song.

I Feel like the Lord is bringing me through the fire once more. He never said it wouldn't hurt, but he did promise to have his hand over me. Today has been a day of confusion and pain. I am so confused of where my life is going right now. The Lord seems to be bringing me in and out of this maze. There is so much deep down in my spirit that I want for my life, and I don't see it on this path. I am not in control and that is tough. I have to trust that He will guide me through this winding maze. What is so awesome about God bringing me through the fire, is that it hurts, but He won't let go of me. He has given me so much peace today, that which truly surpasses understanding. He is with me and guiding me, and most importantly, He is holding me!

In this fire, I am learning to let go of my life and let God hold me in there as long as he needs to. I look at where my spirit wants to be, and I am not there. I yearn to be apart of Celebration Center, the Lord is bringing them through so much, and moving them out into the streets. I long to be part of the prayer movement back in Redlands. A prayer movement that is almost 24/7! Why God! Why can't be apart of that? I even would love to be in Redding or in Kansas City at the international house of prayer. I want to shout to the crowds and proclaim the Lord's Victories!

So Why do He have me here? What am I to do? What can I bring? ...nothing.

nothing without You. I am poor Lord. I lack! I fail! I need you! Lord I had such a passion for prayer on this campus. But how come it isn't happening? God where did that passion go? I know it is still there, I can feel it deep down. Stir it up Lord. I want to be apart of these great ministries at other places, but why can't I look at where I am now and see a vision of prayer here at Cal State? I lack Lord. I fail.

Purify my heart, oh Lord! Cleanse me from deep within. Bring me through the Refiner's fire. My heart's one desire is to be holy and set apart for you, my Master, you my King, you My God! I want to be ready to do your will.

Alright Alright!

I guess I need to post... Jason won't stop whimpering.
well hmmm... Let's see.
so I guess you can say that the lord has been teaching me to let go. Let go of the branches that are so familiar and secure and just drift in the flow of God's grace and plan. Why do we trust ourselves more than we do God? mmhmm...

but then can I let go to much? And just not care about all this stuff that I need to do... So now I need balance.
I feel like this week was going like 120 mph. Then it just all of a sudden came to a screeching halt! It's waiting for the light to turn green so it can peel out and speed on through again. But here I am Thursday night and need to run to catch up with it.
I guess this is were I stop being lazy and do my part, but still rest in knowing that God will give me that adrenaline that I need.

mmhmm I guess.. That's what is supposed to happen... I don't know. I know I do need to work on my resume and I don't want to but I have to. So I guess I will go do that. ...You know I think it's okay to first go spend sometime with God. Yes.

New post

Another source other than myself has kept me accountable and made me post, this is according to 2nd Jason 5:17.

I posted, and now that the command is fulfilled goodbye!

This Day Belongs to the Lord

I have four more days of work. Yesterday in my heart was already at Saturday, my last day. The lord has me at this job for four more days for a reason. Today I have been asking God to give me a new heart. Not to just get me through the day, but to make an impact at work. My two co workers and I don't like working there. Thus we are bored, and thus we don't do our work to well, so thus again we are bored. It is a vicious cycle, but I want to get on a gracious cycle.
today is August 3rd, So I read Proverbs 3. In this chapter the Lord showed me three cycles: one of grace, one of strength, and the other of guidance.

Proverbs 3:7 "Do not be wise in your own eyes..." I can't do this on my own so:
I need God's grace to be humble today, so that I can find grace (3:34 "...But gives grace to the humble.").
I need God's strength to fear Him today, so that I can find strength (3:7-8 "...Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.").
And I need God's guidance/direction in acknowledging Him, so that I can have guidance/direction (In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.").

All of these things: humility, fear of the Lord, and acknowledging Him in my ways, I have tried to do on my own. But I can't do these things without His grace, strength, and guidance. It is a gracious cycle that only the Lord can get me in. I Praise the Lord this day as I recognize my spiritual poverty. I can't do this on my own, I need his beautiful grace.

Hey I updated on the Cru community blog - crucommunity.blogspot.com read it its some good stuff.

umm so lately the lord has just been wanting me to be still and know that he is God. So i have been just relaxing in his presence and have been letting his peace fill me. I have been wanting to please Him so much, but he has been telling me that he is pleased with me and there is nothing more that I need to do then to love Him.
I would love to tell you all more! But my time here at the coffee shop is up!
I miss you all!
love Jessica

Physical Prayer

Last night was my night to go sharing. As a community team we each committed to a certain day that we would go sharing in order to get more people going sharing after the meetings. Anyway I went with my friends Hyram Ho, and Katie. When we went, I felt "out of season," I had a back ache and was tired. I told the two that they lead in who to initiate with, because of how I was feeling.
As we went on, I was sort of praying and singing, mostly for the pain to leave my back. We kept going up to people, and each time we got shot down. We then went up to these girl and this guy, and did the surveys with them and started getting into a good conversation with them, when their parents walked up to us, and their mom looked at us like we were freaks. I said to her in a most cheerful way, "Hi! I'm Jessica!" and held out my hand. No response. I answered with a pretend hand shake and brought my hand back. The girl and guy then said that they needed to go, so I asked the two if they would like a booklet. "no that's alright."
Shot down again.
"Man! We keep running into walls!" I said as we were walking away. I then felt to pray against these walls. So as we were walking I started punching these imaginary walls. I wasn't embarrassed by what I was doing. I then proceeded to grab my sword, and started breaking the walls with that. I don't think I looked crazy to anyone watching. I mean it wasn't full on attack but as we were walking. This was the physical version of what I was praying.
Then Katie saw this guy sitting by himself. So Hyram and I went up to him. Hyram told him that we were Christians seeking to tell people about Christ and asked him if we could talk to him. "sure" he said, there was one wall torn down. As we were talking to him we found out that he was raised going to Church, but only goes for Christmas and Easter. He new that the only way to heaven is through believing in Jesus Christ. His problem though was that he questioned people who accept Christ as their savior, and yet deny Him by their life style. He said that he wasn't doing a lot of good in his life, so he was going to hell, because he didn't want to accept Christ if we was going to live a bad life style. We tried and tried to explain that there is grace, but we were somehow hitting this wall, He still didn't understand that these people could be saved. He then said that his wife (it was their 25th anniversary) was waiting for him so we asked him if we could walk with him. Then as we were walking, Hyram started to explain how accepting Christ, is like saying "I do" at the alter. Once you say "I do" you are married, with this you have the choice to either build the relationship or not. He explained that he could do only one thing for his wife and still be her husband (now he would be a bad husband but he would still be her husband). With that I saw something click in his head. (Yessssss! Another wall broken down! Thank you Father for answering my prayers!) I tried to help by explaining the story of Hosea, taking the whore, Gomer, as a wife. Basically showing him that this is how God is with us. Then with that we left.
I think that gave him a new perspective. It was just so interesting how that prayer was finally answered as we were leaving. God works in mysterious ways! I love God!
I love you all, God bless you!
Jessica

"Command C, Command V"

Hey Guys!
I will be arriving at John Wayne Airport at 8:53PM, on Saturday, August 13th via Northwest Airlines, Flight 393.
so if you all want to see me before I go to Yucaipa for the weekend meet me in the baggage claim in 3 weeks! :D
I miss you all SOOOOO much!!!
I love you!

Jessica

(look its the same message that is on the community blog ...train)

You guys can pray for me that I don't focus on coming home too much. I am really excited to see you all, but I am afraid that it has been getting my mind off of project, which makes me miss out on something that the Lord might be trying to teach me. He has me here for 10 weeks not 7, I just need to remember that!

Okay, I really got to get going! I love you all so dearly! May the Lord bless you in all your ways. May He use you all in mighty ways whether you are working, at church, at home, on a trip, grocery shopping, or wherever! The Lord guide you and give you wisdom!

Love always,
Jessica

Prayer and Intercession

So I think I need to up date a little!
okay so last time I talked about how I had the opportunity to speak about prayer. Well last Thursday I spoke about intercession and why it is so important. It was so cool. I probably only talked about 5 to 10 minutes, but i feel that the Lord really spoke through me (totally His grace!). I talked about how we are co-laborers with Christ and that intercession is speaking on behalf of someone else. I mean I can't really put it all into words but it was cool because I was able to challenge them to pray more. I talked about Elijah and how even thought god told him that the rain would come. God still wanted him to pray, and not only once but 7 times which is the number of completion. Meaning that he needed to pray until it happened.
I feel like so many times in our prayer lives we get so apathetic. We just sit down and say "God, please save 'so-and-so.' amen." how come we don't pray like Elijah? How come we don't pray until it is completed? Why don't we lie face down on the ground crying out for the lost begging for God to send his spirit?
Jesus said "The spirit is willing but the Flesh is weak." so may times I have wanted to cry out to God for my family and friends, for my Dad who isn't saved. But all I did was just sit on the couch and prayed a little. Yes, the Lord knows what we are going to pray before we pray it, and he knows our heart. But he wants to see our passion. So many times he talks about laboring in prayer, wrestling in prayer. Lets do that! Lets Cry out to God, lets pray to the lord of the harvest! Lets pray to the healer. God Cares! He wants to hear our requests and he wants to see our hearts! "The Spirit is willing but the Flesh is weak."

I love you all and miss you! God be with you and bless you!
love always,
Jessica

Intercession

Cool thing that happened was a few weeks ago during prayer time they told us to get into groups of 3 or 4 and pray for our co-workers. Which was typical of our non-fervent prayer time. during this all the staff came in dressed in black and started tying us up and duck taping us together. At first I, like many saw this as funny. We laughed. Then one student stood up, hands bound and shouted "stop laughing! You guys don't get this! Our brothers and sisters in Christ are really going through this, and all you can do is laugh!" one of the staff leaders shouted "Lets see you pray now!" this student started crying out to God! People started to pray. I got out of the group that I was in and fell on my face and started crying out for the missionaries in foreign countries, the lost, and the persecuted. It was such a good time of intercession. The lord kept showing my countries to pray for, and broke my heart. I praise God because, I have been desiring a greater passion for prayer, and the Lord is working on me.

When the staff is away the students will play!

Okay! So here is what is new:
Staff is officially gone!
now for the next five weeks the students rule!
I am co-in charge of the outreach team! The one job that I didn't want ha ha! The Lord is so funny that way! Cool thing though, I can see that this summer he is really going to work on my heart for outreach and the lost.
this Thursday me and my co-leader Luke will be talking during equipping time. He is going to talk about the heart behind outreach. Not just the normal things that we hear but about how evangelism comes out of love for God and not just your doing it because God commands us to. It will be good despite my poor summary. I then will bounce off of him with why prayer is important in evangelism. I am so excited about this because I know that the lord is going to teach me a lot about prayer. One thing that I have been asking the lord is for a bigger passion for prayer, I think God will work through this. ;)

love you all and miss you all so much!
Jessica

The Lord is good!!!

Here is an update on what the lord is doing here in VA!
last week was killing the giants the week, which is a week were you set evangelism goals! Anyway! I was blessed to lead FOUR PEOPLE TO CHRIST!!! Oh my goodness! Praise GOD! Two of them were these two high school girls who were like best friends! It was so cute, they were so willing and ready! It was neat because before I went through the four spiritual laws with them, they told me and my friend Ashley who was with me that they didn't even know a Christian. So cool how God worked! HE ROCKS!

The other was a homeless guy who just wanted forgiveness so bad. He prayed the prayer and after he accepted Christ into his life, he said that he felt better. It was neat because he told me that he wanted to get off of alcohol and realized that it wasn't going to happen unless he humbled himself. With that I got to share how it was only through Christ that my sister got off of narcotics. I could also see that he was real about it all when he told me that he wished there was a way that I could know he was doing better. Instead of asking for my address, or phone number, he told me the name of this guy that works at a church on the corner, and told me that he would work with the guy and tell him how I was, and if I called him, he would tell me how George was doing (that is his name by the way).

the other guy was this kid from Chicago, who was going to leave the next day. When I asked him which circle* represented his life he pointed at the circle with the Cross inside. I was like "oh you are a Christian!" He was like "No, no! I thought you said which one do you want to be!" he was so willing and ready, and it was so cool to see God fix the misunderstanding.

God is awesome! I miss you all! I love you all! God Bless!

super-duper-quick post!

Hey guys quick update!
I didn't get the job at the surf shop :( I really wanted to because I wanted to reach out to the teenage girls that worked there. (gosh! I have so much I want to add to that!)anyway I work at this souvenir shop with this girl, Jen, from Crusade, and with this guy, Milan. He is from Bulgaria, he is so sweet and funny. Its cool because I really feel like Jen and I are connecting with him. I hope that we can hang out with him.
Could you guys pray for that? He has two jobs so he works in the day and the night. Also just pray for my heart! It keeps getting jealous of stupid stuff. grr.
Anyway, there is so much that I want to tell you guys! You can call me anytime! If I can't talk, my phone will be off or something. :)
I miss you all a lot!
I love you!
-Jessica

3 in one setting! (I hope you all enjoy these updates)

For those of you who don’t know what I am doing in Virginia Beach:

I am here with Campus Crusade for Christ. For 10 weeks! During this time we get a job and do outreach on the beach. We also are learning about of ministry skills and in five weeks all the Campus Crusade staff will leave and we will have to run all the night meetings, outreach and community programs ourselves. This will teach us a lot of leadership skills, which are always good! ;) So if you all want to keep us in your prayers that would be great!

I have found one more!

I think it was yesterday afternoon. (I am not sure the days just blur together) I was lying on my bed just waking up from a well-needed nap (yes it was yesterday) and Nicole comes in. I said, “hi sweetie! Come lay down!” So she got in bed next to me (I love that about girls! I love it that we can just do that :) so awesome!). Anyway, I started talking to her about stuff. I found out that she had been to the International House of Prayer for a Conference. Which happened to be Onething, the same conference that Stephen, Jeanette Mike, Doug, and I went to in February. So basically I found out that she believes in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. So awesome! Sometime I just want to get together with her and just worship, pray, and intercede! (She is on the worship team, awesome guitarist!)

Which reminds me of something else. We had a worship and praise time last night. Which was cool but so structured. I felt like it was hard to take it serious. Anyway, I was talking to a girl, Chelsea who plays guitar, and was telling her that I wish it wasn’t so structured. By this I mean, they sing for 30 min, pray in groups for 15 minutes, then shout out thank-yous to God. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t bad. I just would love to see more worship and freedom in prayer. Like just open it up and have some things to focus on in prayer but let people pray for longer than 15 minutes. If someone wants to worship, then go for it. Or you could have a time for the singing and a time for the “speaking-type” prayer. But lets sing more! Lets pray more. When you do different things and get in groups it breaks peoples focus. People start to talk to each other. So anyway, I was talking to her about it and she was in agreement. Maybe we can just have a time for worship and prayer outside of those meetings.

I just want to pray more. I need it. I need more passion for it.

I got a job and an interview! Yay!

I for sure got a job at this souvenir shop but I also have an interview for this Quiksilver style shop. I’d be cool to have that job but there isn’t anyone from Crusade working there which will make it harder to witness. See at this other shop there will probably be two of us there and we will be working with the foreign people helping them out and teaching them what to do. This is good because it will be a great opportunity to witness. So I seriously need to seek a lot of wisdom on this. Because I can see how God would want to use me in both places. Please pray for me guys!

So Nice I Posted Twice!

Second day. I don’t have reception right now. Well it says I do but can’t find the server or something. Anyway, I love the people here. Today we got together with our bible study groups and the leader. The group consists of four girls, they live in our 3-bedroom/12-girl apartment. I am so excited about these girls. The Lord is so good. There is one girl who I felt like I didn’t click well with, and when I saw that she was in my group I thought, “oh Awesome God! This will be cool.” See she is kind of a stand off kind of girl (I can’t hug her :( ) which I am not too used to, but I know its not me, its just her personality. I was excited because I wanted to try to get to know her more and get past our personality differences.

Another thing that was cool was that today asked God to reveal to me any one who believed more of what I believe (I guess you could say charismatic). Well one of the girls in my bible study said that her mom goes to a charismatic church so later I talked to her about it and found that she didn’t speak in tongs but believed in it and is still looking into it. (Shh! Don’t tell crusade that we talked about tongs!) Also that she believes in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, we talked about it really quick because she had to go.

Yay! (Happy dance!)

I am really excited! I think this is going to be great! We’ll see what the Lord does!
Love you all!
Jessica

The Lord is so funny! Tonight a few of us went to worship on the beach and we met two guys from two different Vineyards here. We invited them to our Monday Crusade meetings. I was like “bring your Vineyard friends!”

I can’t attend a Vineyard here, because they give us only a choice of four churches. But it’s cool! I am excited to see all that I will learn through the church that I’ll attend. Right now I am trying to decide between the Black church and the non-denominational, more contemporary, church. The black church was cool, now I just want to check out the other.

Okay bye again, love you all!
Jessica

Sequel: From Sea to Shining Sea --Jason couldn't handle the suspense!

After I saw my sister Julie I went through security and came to the gate just as my row was boarding. It was about 8:35. Oh no! I guess I was wrong! Time to board.

8:45 we rocket shot out of the air. I fell asleep. I slept most of the way.

It is four hours later. We are about to land and we see big puffy clouds upon us. We go through them. ::swoosh! Jolt! Jerk!:: Turbulence. You can hear the children laugh “wee! Whoa!” The plane shakes and drops and catches itself again. It’s the Twilight Zone Plane of Terror. At this point I was sure that AJ wished he were here.

We landed safely in Detroit. I tried to get on the Internet but they wanted me to pay for it. I was mad. I closed my computer and boarded the plane.

When I got on the plane I squeezed into a tiny seat by the window. For the next ten minutes a child screamed “But I want it! I want it!” The plane then revved up its engines as if it were going to take of and went into reverse out of its parking space. They warned us ahead of time. We taxied and took off. Again I slept. I woke up realizing I missed the pretzels and soda. The passenger next to me told me to call a steward. I did and ordered a Pepsi and pretzels. They were interesting.

I landed, “deplaned” (as the stewardess had said), and went to the baggage claim. “Hmm, no crusade people.” “Meow! Meow!” My phone rings. It is Katrina, my bible study leader.

“Were are you?”

“I am at the airport!”

“Has Ben called you?”

“No.”

“Oh! I’ll have him call you”

“Meow! Meow!” My phone rings again.

“Hi Jessica this is Ben, I am so sorry I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

Thirty minutes later he arrived. We drove to the meeting just in time to catch the ending. I didn’t make it to the intro meeting but made it to Virginia! From one coast to the Other.

And so the adventure begins!

John Wayne lived here

Its 6:49 am according to the clock over there. I’m listening to the wurring engine sounds mixed with the low droll of the air conditioner in the background, two people walk by and one says, “I mean it’s the terrible twos, we were th…” then a lady on the loud speaker says, “For your safety please closely monitor and control your luggage and packages. Any unattended items are subject to immediate confiscation. Any unattended items should be reported to an airline representative or law enforcement officer immediately. Thank you.” Then a child screams in the background. It is 6:57 am.

I leave in two hours. That is how much sleep I got last night. It is 7:00 am. My stepfather got me here two hours early, he thinks it will take two hours to get though security and check in.

It is 7:01 am, an hour and forty-five minutes left. I might see Julie in thirty minutes she wanted to say goodbye. I will have to go though the security check again. Don’t worry it won’t take two hours to get though. I think I’ll make it in the nick of time with just thirty minutes to an hour to spare. That is when I’ll wipe the sweet from my brow, “Whew! almost didn’t make it!”

yay!

Church was awesome tonight!
I met a new friend, actually a spiritual sister! Her name is Leila (Layla). We ministered and prophesied over each other as soon as we met! It was so cool, I have never been so confident in prophesying before (well it was more of a word of knowledge). God said and I spoke, it just came out! ha ha awesomeness! Praise the Lord!

Tomorrow I Fly! I have to get up at 5 am and it’s almost one! Looks like I'll be sleeping on the plane ;)

Snail mail me:
Jessica Howard
c/o Campus Crusade for Christ
Paradise Resort Inn
516 19th Street
Virginia Beach, VA 23451

Or call me and I’ll try to get back to you!

Disneyland!

Jason, AJ, Rae, Eleanor and I went to Disneyland yesterday! It was fun! We later met up with Doug, Faye, and her Friend. Watched the Fireworks... AMAZING!
Just in these past few college years, whenever I visit Disneyland or talk to someone who works here, it pushes me into a cycle of thought and wonder.

"Should I apply to work here? I could try out for a character, 'so and so' said I would do great! uhh but 'so and so' wants to quit working here. ...But they said they loved it! How come they want to quit? Would I have time if I got a job here? I guess that is were discipline comes in. humm... there are the benefits. I could come any time I want, and sign people in. ooohh and no pressure of getting your money's worth on all the rides and attractions! *sigh… Dad worked there (he keeps hinting that I should work there), I could start some family tradition… it is a blessing to live so close and have this opportunity. … *sigh... Oh! but they kill your weekends! …But if I had a job I’d work on the weekends anyway!"

"Should I get a job?"

Jesus healed on the Sabbath -just a punny title to my post ;)

On Saturday I went to church! I went with my mom and my step-dad (Elery), it has been a long time since I have been to the same church with both of them! (Elery goes to this church, while my mom has been going to another).
The church is called Celebration Center, and is the that church I grew up in. Technically it is a Seventh-day Adventist Church but more like a Seventh-day Vineyard. It is definitely not your ordinary SDA church, full of stuck up traditions created by man. No this church has a dance team (SDAs traditionally don’t believe in dancing) and practices the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
When I was a kid this was the type of church that I grew up in. I remember learning knowing the power of prayer. At my church, children saw visions and angles, demons were cast out of people, and words of knowledge were given to people. The Lord was really working through this church.
Then around 1999, the former pastor of the church made a wrong turn in to adultery allowing this sin and a spirit of perversion into the church, which affected the leaders, staff, and the congregation. The church started gradually spiraling downward. Eventually, out of guilt, the pastor began teaching universalism, claiming that everyone was saved no mater what! The church population started to dwindle, as people started to leave (my mom and I to name a few). I remember one woman was asked to leave the church because she was to open to the Holy Spirit. Eventually the population was so small that the church took out the pews and put in tables and chairs, to make the church look bigger.
It was a sad tragedy. Nobody knew why this started happening. I guess it could have been blamed on the universalism but why did that start? We had no idea of our pastor’s affair, until this year. By the grace of God he was convicted enough to step down from office. The church then found a new pastor, one that believed all that the church originally had believed. It was then we were told the truth. At a conference in February the Lord gave me a word about the church. Basically He compared Celebration Center to Hosea’s wife, and told me that he would bring her back and better than she had ever been.
Well I went to church this Saturday, and wow! The Lord has kept his promises! The church is thriving. Jehovah Rawfaw is doing his healing work! The people are back, even the lady who was asked to leave. The church is a family again! At the prayer meetings supernatural healings are taking place, and the Lord is using the new generation of Children to do what He commands!
During the worship service I saw a little boy stand at the bottom of the stage and just start doing some sign language to the song. It was amazing, no one told him to do it. The Lord told me to go up there and stand next to him (to be lead by a child) but sadly I disobeyed. It reminds me of how beautiful the faith of a child is, and how much we all need it. The child then step onto the stage and stood next to his mother, who was singing, and continued his motions. After the song she shooed him away, but the new pastor when up to the boy, patted him on the back and spoke, what looked like, words of approval to him.
I am so amazed by God’s work and I can see that this is only the beginning of this churches rebirth. I am so pleased to see that the Church is staying open to the Lord and all that He has for them.
(Adding to post)
Another thing that I thought was neat was that as a kid there were things that we did in church that I didn't really understand. Like the "Garden of Prayer" Why does the church all gather on the stage to pray together? I mean I did understand it as a kid, but doing it now as an adult is so much more meaningful. We are praying as a family for members of the family. It was just all in all an awesome experience. I wish I could invest more of myself into this family.
(There is so much more that I want to add but don't have the time! :( if you want to know more you can ask me about it. I would be glad to share. For those of you in Paso you can call me or email me, even if you don't want to talk to me about my post!)
It was such a joy to go back to the family and worship with them! I praise the Lord for His goodness, His healing power and His amazing, wonderful, grace!
P.S. If anyone down here wants to come with me, I might be going this Friday night before I leave for Virginia on Saturday! I have forgotten what the Friday night service is like. It has been so long :(

My Daughter,

I love you and have you in my arms. Be still. Let me embrace you. You are restless and anxious. Be calm. I am here. Look up into my eyes! Do you see the trust they hold? Do see the love they express? Why would I let you go? Why would I ever leave you? You are mine as you always have been. Lie here, and feel the warmth of my chest. Listen to my breath. Breath with me. Peace my daughter, peace.

Let me wipe away your tears; let me hold you in this hour. You are not alone, as you never were. Why do you worry? Have I not commanded you not to? Trust me. I know all things; I am the beginning and the end. I see the path that I have laid before you. I see what you have only seen in part.

Trust my words and here my voice. Do not dwell on the present circumstance, it is only temporary, do not reside in the past, it is no more. Look to the skies! Look into my eyes! I am unchanging, righteous and just. My promises are unfailing, and my love is true. I promise, my daughter, I will always be with you.

Dear Father,

I will give you all my worship
I will give you all my praise
You alone, I long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

With all of my heart, all of my mind, all of my body, all of my spirit I will worship you. Everyday is yours, and every decision is yours. I give you my life and all that it holds. There are times that I don't understand your ways, but as you are worthy of all of my worship I will follow them.
You hold time in your hand, you know the beginning from the end, and you have the path laid out for me. Keep me on this path Father! As I want to stray to the side, I ask that you will take hold of my hand and lead me on.

You are HOLY and worthy of all my praise!
I will bow down, I will seek you, I will follow, I will worship, and I will praise you and give you everything!

Amen.

War Dance

Tonight we had war dance worship in the student center! It was awesome! I was Stephen, Eleanor, Doug, AJ, and I.

For some reason I destroyed a block. it was hard to destroy but I got it. It was fairly huge, like a foot in length, a foot and a half in width, and then about three feet in height. I think it was a cornerstone of something. I mostly used my battle ax and hammer/mallet on it (yeah I have those. I got them once when I was praying for my dad and had to break down some walls), and in the beginning my medium sword. It took a while; I had to keep attacking it. I finally got it to about two and a half inches in height, and then I started jumping on it. It’s gone. I think it was a cornerstone because later in the song I took my medium sword and started cutting walls in half, and then easily knocked them over. I saw a push broom in the corner and swept up together, then used a house broom and swept them out side (yeah it was that simple).

Later during the song Awake, I got a Bell! So during the whole song I rang it. In the middle of the song I got a trumpet, so I blew it. I was doing this to wake up people in the spirit realm. The bell was about two to two and a half inches in diameter, but later during another song that speaks of prophesying and says, "awaken the watchmen" my bell grew! It is now about five inches in diameter! I sometimes had to use two hands to ring it.

After this there was a song about missionaries, and Stephen said that he wanted me to get in the middle and pray over me (because I am going to Virginia on a mission with campus crusade). So he anointed me with oil and everyone laid hands on me. During there prayers, I was praying in tongues and began getting words from the Lord. He said that he wants to move, and that he wants to fight, and I think that He wants to go. Then I saw Christ with a sword and armor, and had something strapped around his chest, I don't know if it was a sash or bullets, but in any case, I saw Him and then super imposed was a silhouette of the east coast. With this I prayed "Jesus lead us into battle." it was really awesome!

So now I am tired and I am going to bed!

:)

i think i just set it up so that anyone could comment. :) yay!

hey i posted!

This weekend was way cool!

first on Friday i went ot the health center and got more meds :/ then did homework (this is not the cool part)
later that night my way cool friend Melissa gave me a brand new pair of tap shoes! oh my gosh! I asked, "what!? why!?"she replied, "just because!" wowwie i still can't believe it! they are so awesome! they fit perfectly! oh I love them!

Right after that Eleanor, my friends Caroline and Michelle Clark, and I snuck down to the lobby to where our friend Michelle Ryan was and pretended that she didn't notice, and jumped out and shouted "surprise!!!" and gave her the card that Caroline and i made (its all japaneese cause i went there last summer, and Caroline LIVED there -so she put michelle's name on it in japaneese)

Then Eleanor and i ran over to the dance room and tap danced for 15 minutes. Oh my goodnees! I was soo tired after that, freekin' awesome work out!

Then Saturday, AJ, Doug, and I went to an amazing senior recital for my friends Shaun and Kelsey. all I can say is "train."

Afterwords, AJ, Cormack, Tim, Jimmy, Rae, Eleanor, Doug and I went to Redlands (909!) to see AJ's brother, Mark, in Pollyanna! it was pretty cool. we had dinner at AJ's house, and His mom showed us AJ's preschool pictures, AJ was lucky that she didn't get the baby pictures out. There's always next time! MWAHAHA!

After the play we all went to Starbucks and walked through beautiful down town Redlands and played Hudi! a japanees arm game.. Cormack won! funny thing though he doesn't like the game.. interesting.

then I went to my house while everyone went back to fullerton. I stayed up talking to my mommy about stuff God wa doing in both our lives. then i went to sleep. the next morning she was sposed to wake me up at 7:30 but she didn't so i woke to my alarm at 7:45 and found out that our brunch plans had been canceled (we were going to go to church at 9am then have brunch with some people) so i suggested that we go to a different church (The Rock Church and World Outreach Center). it was cool, the pastors message was exactly about what my mom and i were talking about the night before! God is so awesome!

After church mom and i met Elery at applebee's! i had steak and shrimp.. yumm! I don't ever get to see my step-dad as much as i see my mom, so i was really glad that i got to hang out with him and talk. I even got to drive home with hum so i got some more quality time in with him :D

then at home i showed them my tap shoes.

then i packed up and left. My mom and Elery prayed over me before i left. that was such a blessing. Instead of driving strait to fullerton, i went to chuch. It was the last sermon for our 3 month series "Family feul for the nation" that was a good series. I cam eabout 45 min to an hour late but the lord really spoke to me. Afterwords i was stressed about summer stuff and started talking to a girl about it. but just when i was sort of pouring my heart out, her husband wanted to leave. i told her i would call her, but i didn't. I don't know, i mean i understand that she wants to honor her husband, but why couldn't she ask him is he could wait a few minutes longer? I would think he would understand if he new she was ministering to someone. anyway, i went back to school, and sat in the car. then the lord blessed me with a phone call with my sister. that was a blessing, she prayed for me and helped me to believe that the Lord can get me through this pre-summer stuggle. I know he will be there and i choose to trust him.

then later that night i went with stephen to kinkos. wow! that took about almost an hour! there was a guy there that called the clerk a bad name so the clerk cusse him out so the costomer called the police. we just sat there, but after our wait I got my four coppies for free! :)

then i grabed del taco, ate, played on the computer, mounted. then slept. woke up went back to sleep and had a dream that AJ and tim were in a car with U2. i was flying a popellered plane taking photographs of the ocean with my teacher when i saw them! i freaked out, landed the plane, but by the time i got to them AJ and bono had left! boo! but i got to hang out with "the edge" and the others and boy they looked really old. like one of them (maybe the edge - not sure) had age spots all over his face eww!

then i woke up 56 min before class got ready, went to class, my friend bought me some black paper and coffee. that was so nice. i then finished mounting, packed, and ate lunch. i rushed to class with my designs and photography stuff (because i was meeting with my friend sharon to do some photo stuff) and found class to be canceled! yesssss! i went back to the dorms, study some stuff and met with Sharron early. we went to the arboretum and she took pictures of me with mud over my eyes. good stuff can;t wait to see it!

After that, Julie, my sister came over. we walked to this mexican food place that was really good, then organized my side of the dorm room, and then she left. that was fun, and we got it all done :D later i found some cd's that i owed Stephen and then did more homework outside with AJ. we shot people while we were sitting there, and got shot a few times our selves by albert and his cool sounding wepons (he has good sound effects). then eleanor tried to attack us but we got her with our L's and machine guns. -if that didn't do it then i know my gernade did.

well thats a lot! it was harder for me to not to go into anymore detail. i like explaining things! sheese!

Freedom

I have found freedom in your arms
Since you have taken me and lead me to your ways
I, like Gomer, have run from my true love
And have chased after what I cannot find
But you have rescued me from this adulterous shame
You have cleansed me and clothed me
I have be betrothed to you in your righteousness and compassion
And in your justice and love
Cleansed and anointed, I stand before your throne
Stretch out your scepter and may your eyes that burn with love fall upon me
I smell your fragrance that fills this throne room
Breathing in your beauty my heart melts once again
Acquire it, as it is yours

"we believe"

This is a song by Vineyard that God has been ministering to me with. its the Apostle’s Creed with a chorus added in.

We believe in God the Father
Almighty Maker of the heavens and the earth
And in Jesus Christ His Son
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit
And then given birth
We believe, we believe
We believe, we believe
We believe

He was born of the Virgin Mary
He suffered under Pontius Pilate
He was crucified and dead and buried
He descended to the depths of hell
And then He rose again
We believe, we believe
We believe, we believe
We believe

We believe He sends His Spirit
On His church with grace and power
We believe He pours His Spirit
On His church this final hour

He ascended to the highest heavens
And is seated at the right hand of God
He will come again to judge the living,
Yes, He will come again and judge the living
And to judge the dead
We believe, we believe,
We believe, we believe
We believe

We believe in the Holy Spirit
We believe in the Holy Christian Church
We believe in the communion of saints
We believe in the forgiveness of sins
And the resurrection
We believe, we believe
We believe, we believe
We believe

We believe He sends His Spirit
On His church with grace and power
We believe He pours His Spirit
On His church this final hour

Copyright © 1996 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

Additional spontaneous lyrics:
We believe, we believe
We believe, we believe
We believe
Your people now sing ...
We believe, we believe
Oh yes, we believe, Lord
We believe in Your Spirit’s power
The power to change our lives
The power to change, to change the nations, to change the world
To change the hearts of kings, to change the hearts of men
of every tribe and nation, every language Lord,
We believe, oh Lord, we belive, ...
One holy church, oh yes, we belive, ...
The communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins
We believe ...
And we believe that You are coming again
Oh yes we believe ...
Hear our song, we believe ..

Sight restored

Okay hey ya'll
This is the deal; I have had correctional lenses sense I was in 2nd grade... (That’s how long I have known that I was blind!) Currently, I am legally blind, way off the 20/20 chart; my glasses that are supposed to be featherweights are coke bottles. Here is the deal. I am sick of being blind. I am asking for people to pray for my sight to be totally restored. Jesus has done it before. I really want him to receive glory, and would be willing to let my blindness be a tool for his glory!
Please pray for revelation of strongholds, curses, or anything that is keeping me from total healing.
Thanks.

its just about today :)

So today I have been really tired! During lunch I was kind of sitting and staring. So I went back to my room to sleep but ended up talking to my roomies, it was cool. I had to go to class 30 minutes later, didn't want to go, and ended up falling asleep in class anyway. It was kind of pointless that I went.

I think that this all contributed to this morning. We learned how to develop film in creative Photography. It’s hard. We had to put the film on these metal reels perfectly, but in Pitch-black darkness, and in this tiny bathroom stall-sized room. I seriously felt like Helen Keller. I was so nervous, and there are four rooms, so I wanted to hurry, and that never helps. Then when I was out of that room I had to add chemicals to this canister (which was holding the film) after agitating it for 6 minutes, I couldn't get the top open to pour out the first chemical, meaning I was over developing the film. I was so anxious. It wouldn't open. A few guys in the class tried to open it and they couldn't. I had to finally bang it on the table. There were quite a few that were over developed, but they still kind of turned out, and today WAS the first day so it was a good practice for me.

Lets see how the prints turn out! :)

God rocks.

Yay i registered for the ONEthing confence in Laguna Niguel. i am so excited! dude if any of you are free Feb 18th through the 20th go to www.onethingglobal.com only $25 until the 11th. then $35 after that. dude Jason Upton is leading worship.

anyway, humm... okay so what is new:
oh yeah wow the Lord has totally blessed me. Packed down, shaken together, and overflowing. I just got an iBook G4 and a scanner/printer was thrown into it for only $26 extra. My way cool friend Sharon has blessed me with photography supplies for my photography class. My Dad is letting me borrow his manual camer for the class, and then my sister and i bought Adobe Creative Suite for only $400 on ebay (spliting the cost made it $200). Okay so this is FREAKIN' AWESOME!!! wow i just praise God. seriously this is not of me or of the natural. God just ROCKS (my face off).

Oh yeah and today God gave me a free Mr. Pibb at McDonalds. :)

Okay so there is more to the story than just this. Last semester i believe it was in November, i didn't get my allowance for that month (sence i don't have a job i need a little to get by). Anyway, i felt like i wasn't sposed to call my dad and ask him for the money. i realized that God was teaching me humility through the need (I think i realized this after talking to Stephen and Krisann). Anyway, that month i only had about $19 in my bank account. i had to rely on God and go to my friends with my need. an example is if i went to In&Out i had to ask some one to pay for me, or if i was going to buy something for someone, i had to have them give me the money right away, i couldn't buy it for them and have them pay me back. i Also had to accept money when people gave it to me. It was like He wanted me in a state of need.

i believe that Stephen talked to Krisann who had a word for me. she said that the $19 was to be used for someone else and not me. technically then i really had zero in the bank if I couldn't use that money for me. Saddly i am not sure if i used it for the Lord before the new month came when i got my allowance, but i did keep my eye out. Anyway, Krisann also said that in the next year (2005) God was going to bless me 2 times (I'm not sure if that is the correct number) as much as i tythed. Look! i am overflowing with the Lord's blessings!

Again it is not me, it is all Him. HE is freakin' Amazing. ::Oh thank you Lord!::

Mwahaha!

Ahhh....a fresh blog to introduce to the wonders of guest posting. Mwahaha!!!

(this is Stephen)

Uhhhh....that's all, I guess.

thats me!

Paso

Okay! So I went to Paso last weekend, to visit my friend Stephen from Fullerton. It took me about 4 hours to get there. It looks like happy cow country. Good cheese does come from happy cows in California!

When I got there I was warmly welcomed by Stephen and all his friends! Let’s see later we went out witnessing. Stephen’s sister Sarah, a girl named Stephanie, and I went up to these two ladies who could barley speak English and were Jehovah’s witnesses. It went pretty well. It mostly consisted of them trying to explain to us that Jesus was not God only the son of God, and us trying to explain the opposite. It was still cool though because we stepped out, the ladies thought that it was neat too. Maybe just the fact that we stepped out was a witness enough.

Later Sarah, Julieanne (Stephen’s other sister) and I went looking around for these two other ladies which God laid on Julieanne’s heart. God ended up leading us to a building that He wanted us to pray for. We walked by it and Julieanne said “oh I feel like we should pray for this building” come to find out, it was a saloon.

Let’s see, fast forward a bit. Later that night we went to their youth service called TAG (the awakening generation) it was so awesome. See they don’t have a TAG worship band; instead they just play worship music on a CD player. To one it may seem plain, but oh my goodness! It was so cool; there was just this spirit of worship there. I felt so free to let go and just worship God in dance. See at Christmas conference, I so wanted to dance, they even had and area for that, but I just couldn’t. I should have been bolder about it. Anyway, Stephen’s church just had a different atmosphere to it. (I’ll share more about that later)

Let’s see Sunday I went to their regular church service, then to Stephen's friend’s house! We had an awesome Italian dinner! Then later MORE Worship!

It was so cool, see it wasn’t just the normal "I am going to worship and feel warm fuzzes." No it was more intimate than that. God was speaking to me; he wanted to know how I felt. I love that about God, even though he already knows what is wrong, he still wants to hear it. He just asked me “what’s wrong?” and then asked “why?” and then He showed me things and taught me. One thing that he said to me was “keep looking at me, just keep looking at me, don’t look anywhere else, just at me.” In my worship I just kept looking up at his face, I could sense him smiling back down at me.

That is how I want my life to be, always looking at him. It is so easy to look up to other people in that way, especially if it is a boyfriend or a girlfriend. So easily we put them in the role as God, a burden way to heavy for them to carry. Recently I realized that I used to do this to my ex-boyfriend, Mark. I expected so much from him. I put him first in my life, and tried to fit him into that God-shaped hole. Oh I was a Christian at the time with strong morals and beliefs and he was too (we both still are), but behind all the Christian camouflage I couldn’t see that I was trying to put Mark right up there on the throne with God. It can still happen to me, and I see it happening to many women, and men too. It is important to realize that the natural has the physical eyes to see, and doesn’t take as much faith to see as the supernatural.